How to Murder Your Life
| Company type | Memoir |
|---|---|
| Industry | Publishing |
| Founded | 2017 |
| Founder | Cat Marnell |
| Products | Book |
| Parent | Simon & Schuster |
How to Murder Your Life is a bestselling memoir authored by fashion and beauty journalist Cat Marnell, published in 2017 by Simon & Schuster. The narrative details Marnell's privileged upbringing in an affluent suburb of D.C., her early encounters with substance use, her entrance into the fashion journalism world, and the persistent addiction challenges that jeopardized her professional trajectory.
Summary
Raised in Washington, D.C., Marnell experiences an abusive childhood under a psychiatrist father who sends her elder sister to the strict Cross Creek Manor reform institution. Seeking refuge from her father's hostility, she attends Lawrence Academy, where she begins consuming Ritalin after being diagnosed with ADHD. During her senior year, she becomes pregnant but postpones terminating the pregnancy until the second trimester. Although accepted to Bard College in 2000, she is expelled from Lawrence and subsequently loses her place at Bard due to online harassment of classmates and disclosing her pregnancy. Her mother then takes her for a distressing abortion procedure.
Relocating to New York City, Marnell enrolls in acting classes but struggles socially and develops bulimia. Introduced to the city's nightlife by Ardie Fuqua, she alternates between colleges while cultivating connections within entertainment and fashion circles. At age 21, she begins working behind the scenes at Vanity Fair, which ignites her interest in magazine journalism. She lands internships at Nylon, Teen Vogue, and Glamour, eventually becoming assistant to beauty editor Jean Godfrey-June at Lucky magazine.
Although advancing professionally, Marnell’s substance use intensifies amid substandard living conditions. She admits to an addiction to Adderall, leading to a rehabilitation stint at Silver Hill Hospital. After a short period of sobriety, she relapses during the Great Recession, yet receives a promotion to Associate Beauty Editor at Lucky. Shielded by colleagues and PR representatives who prioritize personal connections over accountability, she exploits her role.
Her drug dependency worsens while sharing an apartment with roommate Nev Schulman. Her sole friend, Marco, encourages more severe drug use and becomes abusive, repeatedly stealing from her. Following eviction caused by Marco's damage to Schulman's apartment, Marnell faces solitude on her 27th birthday. After another theft by Marco, she recovers some stolen possessions but recognizes years of exploitation. Urged by family and Godfrey-June to enter rehab again, Marnell instead checks into a mental health facility citing suicidal thoughts. Convinced to return to rehab, she departs after nine days and resumes substance abuse alongside her work at Lucky, ultimately resigning due to deteriorating performance despite staff support.
During a period of unemployment, Marnell attempts suicide. Cut off from most family assistance except for her affluent grandmother Mimi—who settles debts and provides housing—she divides her time between Charlottesville, Virginia, and New York City. In 2011, motivated by friend Lesley Arfin, Marnell joins Jane Pratt’s online publication xoJane, where she writes openly about health, beauty, and addiction.
Although critical of the platform itself, her columns gain significant attention. Following Whitney Houston’s death in 2012, Marnell’s viral essay on addiction results in a raise at xoJane. She soon leaves amid ongoing substance issues but achieves wider recognition through interviews addressing addiction. This exposure leads to a lucrative position at Vice and securing a literary agent; however, compiling a cohesive book proposal takes until 2013.
In an afterword, Marnell notes improvements in familial relationships but concedes that drug use continues.
Reception
The memoir by Marnell was met with mostly favorable critiques. The Globe and Mail commended her "stylishly dark sense of humor," while Anne Helen Petersen writing for The New York Times applauded the way she maintained a "delicate equilibrium between glamorizing her struggles and portraying them with brutal honesty." On the other hand, The Irish Times offered a less favorable view, arguing that Marnell frequently adopts the Cat Marnell persona throughout the book and suggested that she "is capable of producing far superior work."