I Am J
| Industry | Publishing |
|---|---|
| Headquarters | New York City , United States |
| Products | Books |
I Am J is a young adult novel authored by Cris Beam that follows the journey of J, a 17-year-old transgender student navigating his transition during his final year at a New York City high school, while striving for acceptance from both friends and family. Released in 2011 by Little, Brown, the book was shortlisted for the 2012 Lambda Literary Award in the category of Transgender Fiction.
Publication
The novel I Am J was published as a hardcover by Little, Brown in March 2011, spanning 339 pages.
Plot
J Silver is a 17-year-old senior in New York City of Puerto Rican and Jewish descent who has identified as male despite being assigned female at birth. He endures bullying at school and grapples with his parents’ acceptance—Carolina and Manny. After a drunken kiss causes the loss of his closest friend Melissa, J retreats from school and begins exploring female-to-male transgender experiences online. Motivated by accounts of hormone treatments and surgical procedures, he embarks on his own transition.
J regularly visits a Starbucks where he meets Madison and Blue; he forms a romantic connection with Blue but is apprehensive about revealing his transgender identity. After running away from home, J finds refuge at a homeless shelter for LGBTQ youth and enrolls in an alternative high school supportive of queer students, where he meets Chanelle. His parents enlist Melissa’s help to rebuild their relationship with him. When J comes out to Carolina and Manny, they respond with mixed emotions.
He temporarily lives with Melissa but faces tension when she organizes a dance performance centered on transgender experiences; J advises her to focus on her personal challenges instead. Joining an LGBTQ youth group boosts his self-assurance, leading him to begin testosterone therapy. At Melissa’s recital, J presents his photography work. During his parents’ anniversary celebration, conflicts emerge when Carolina reveals she concealed J’s location from Manny. Eventually, J moves out permanently to live with Melissa and her mother, though his parents continue to visit.
The story concludes with J being accepted into an upstate New York photography program for the upcoming fall semester.
Characters
- J Silver is the main character—a 17-year-old high school senior of Puerto Rican and Jewish background who channels his emotions through photography while confronting intense feelings of anger and confusion.
- Carolina Silver, J’s mother, is a Puerto Rican Catholic nurse who shows concern about how J’s transgender identity might impact his future but remains caring and resolute.
- Melissa is J’s best friend since eighth grade; she is a dancer dealing with body image issues and self-harm. While J provides her emotional support, she does not share his romantic interest.
- Blue (Basia) is J’s love interest—a painter fascinated by the color blue who lives with her Polish mother, who operates a daycare from their apartment.
- Manny Silver, J’s father, maintains an emotionally distant stance and has difficulty accepting J’s transgender identity.
- Chanelle is a transgender woman attending the alternative high school who serves as a mentor and guide to J.
Reception
I Am J garnered favorable reviews for its genuine representation of queer and transgender adolescents.
The novel received significant attention in Barnboken Journal of Children's Research, which examined its portrayal of transgender creativity, emphasizing the "creative-achievement script" that provides transgender characters with rich, multifaceted storylines and artistic attributes.
Cathi McCrae from Youth Today lauded the book for effectively conveying J's feelings of isolation and growing self-awareness within a new social environment.
Diane Tuccillo, writing for School Library Journal, praised the narrative's authenticity, natural dialogue, and credible storytelling.
Awards
I Am J was shortlisted for the 2012 Lambda Literary Award under the Transgender Fiction category. Additionally, it was featured on the Assembly on Literature for Adolescents' Rainbow List, which highlights recommended LGBTQ literature for youth, where it earned a place among the Top Ten selections.