The 3tards
| Company type | Band |
|---|---|
| Industry | Music |
| Founded | 2001 |
| Headquarters | Brampton , Canada |
| Products | Studio albums: Greatest Hits Vol. 2, Crystal Balls, 333: Halfway to Hell |
The 3tards emerged as a hardcore punk rock group from Brampton, Ontario, Canada, established in 2001. Their discography comprises three studio albums: Greatest Hits Vol. 2, Crystal Balls, and 333: Halfway to Hell. Recognized for their confrontational, explicit, and politically charged satirical lyrics, their live shows often featured provocative theatrics and staged ceremonies designed to shock audiences. The band self-identified as "Canada's most politically incorrect punk band."
Formation and Initial Phase (2001–2003)
The band was founded in 2001 by vocalist John Romanelli, known as John Tard, initially under the name The Trouser Snakes alongside bassist Rich. Shortly after, the group adopted the name The 3tards. Following Rich’s exit, drummer Gus Pynn (Gus Tard), who had previously played with Toronto thrash metal outfit Sacrifice, joined the lineup. This ensemble performed approximately ten shows throughout Toronto and issued a nine-track cassette titled This Is A 3Tards Tape in 2002.
Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 Era (2003–2005)
Andrew Fox (Fox Tard), formerly associated with Toronto punk bands Delirium Tremor and Los Goblynz, became the bassist in August 2003. The band then secured a deal with Wounded Paw Records, a Toronto-based punk label, to produce their debut album Greatest Hits, Vol. 2. Recorded between late 2003 and early 2004, the album featured notable tracks such as "3tarded", "Bigger The Better", and "Gay Heavy Metal Singer", a tribute to Judas Priest’s frontman Rob Halford.
During the recording period, The 3tards played a benefit show at The Kathedral in Toronto, marking their first significant exposure to a youth-oriented audience. They also shared stages with prominent punk groups including the Misfits, Dayglo Abortions, The Dickies, Ripcordz, and Agent Orange.
In 2004, they founded Little Dog, a promotional venture aimed at organizing local concerts and fostering emerging punk acts through large-scale events accessible to younger audiences. The band either headlined or facilitated touring performances by groups such as D.O.A., Forgotten Rebels, and SNFU.
Crystal Balls Period (2005–2007)
In 2005, Wounded Paw Records merged with Spinerazor Records, which had distribution ties to Universal Music Canada. This development allowed The 3tards to record their sophomore album Crystal Balls, produced by Rob Sanzo at Toronto’s Signal 2 Noise Studio. Released nationwide, this 28-minute record included songs like the title track "Crystal Balls", "Stuck On You", and "Manrapist". Despite its release, the album faced predominantly unfavorable critiques.
That same year saw their second appearance on the variety television program Ed & Red's Night Party.
On June 10, 2006, The 3tards performed live inside the compact studio of Toronto radio station 102.1 The Edge; an audience of hundreds—mostly teenagers—spilled onto Yonge Street outside, prompting partial street closure and a citation issued to the station by law enforcement.
One week following this event they opened for D.O.A., and shortly thereafter Eric Carr (Le Tard), previously part of Toronto punk icons Bunchofuckingoofs, joined their ranks.
On December 16, 2006, Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show served as MC and opening act for The 3tards at The Kathedral. This performance was recorded for a DVD titled The 3tards & Beetlejuice: Live 3tardation. During the concert, Beetlejuice tattooed half of his name on John's chest and joined the band on stage for their anthem "3tarded".
333: Halfway To Hell (2007–2013)
Following two years of extensive touring throughout Canada, The 3tards experienced a lineup change in the summer of 2007 when Gus Pynn departed and Keith MacIntyre (known as Keith Tard) from The Antics stepped in as drummer. The group promptly commenced work on their third studio album, titled 333: Halfway To Hell.
By 2008, the band had grown into a five-member ensemble with the inclusion of rhythm guitarist Devin Shael Fox (Dee Tard), who is the brother of Fox Tard and has affiliations with Toronto-based bands Platypi and The New Effector.
Oshawa incident
In June 2009, The 3tards took part in a breast cancer fundraiser held at Memorial Park in Oshawa, sharing the stage with acts such as The Groopies, Black Cat Attack, and Caution Inc. Initially, the event was considered "too risky" to be promoted on Oshawa’s official municipal website due to apprehensions about alcohol consumption and potential property damage. Nevertheless, strong fan advocacy persuaded the city council to permit promotional efforts.
Despite this approval, the event suffered from limited marketing, a delayed start time, and heavy rainfall, which contributed to a low attendance and no funds being raised. During the gathering, attendees poured bubble bath into a nearby fountain, causing it to overflow. The band began performing around 7:30 pm; however, the event’s permit expired at 8:00 pm. While playing their fourth song, police from Durham Region intervened to halt the concert because of noise complaints and difficulties managing the crowd. Authorities cut power and made several arrests. Subsequent appeals by fans to include The 3tards in Oshawa’s July 1 Canada Day celebration at Lakeview Park were denied by city council.
On July 19, 2009, The 3tards headlined a show at The Kathedral where they declared it would be their final performance—though this announcement turned out to be premature.
Disbandment
In June 2013, The 3tards performed at the Bovine Sex Club, showcasing material from their third and final album, 333: Halfway To Hell. Shortly thereafter, they resolved to disband officially. Their concluding concert took place on July 18 at Toronto’s Kathedral venue; during this event, Romanelli introduced his new project, the Terrorchargers. Following the split, Fox joined Toronto pop rock outfit Crush Luther as bassist, while Eric Carr formed Grey Bush alongside Gymbo Jak from the Dayglo Abortions.
Critical response
The musical style of The 3tards has been compared to that of The Dead Milkmen and Forgotten Rebels, merging elements of punk and metal with intentionally crude and repetitive lyrics. Their approach to humor has drawn parallels to comedian Chevy Chase. Conversely, the anarcho-punk publication Slug and Lettuce delivered severe criticism of their album Crystal Balls, labeling it "the worst record ever" and expressing strong disapproval toward the band’s output.
Discography
- This Is A 3Tards Tape (Cassette), 2002, Independent
- The Greatest Hits Vol. 2, 2004, Wounded Paw Records
- Crystal Balls, 2005, Wounded Paw Records
- 333 Halfway To Hell, 2009, Wounded Paw Records
External links
- The 3tards Official website