The Astonishing Color of After
| Industry | Publishing |
|---|---|
| Headquarters | United States |
| Products | Books, young adult novels |
The Astonishing Color of After is a young adult novel authored by Emily X.R. Pan and released on March 20, 2018, through Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. The story delves into themes of suicide and mental wellness, focusing on Leigh, a biracial teen who is convinced that her mother transformed into a red bird following her suicide. Leigh journeys to Taiwan, where her mother was born, to meet her grandparents and decipher the meaning behind the bird before Ghost Month concludes. Throughout this journey, she expresses her feelings through colors and uses art as a means to navigate her grief, all while confronting her father’s skepticism about her coping strategies and his preference for practicality over artistic expression.
The novel has prompted significant critical and academic dialogue regarding its portrayal of Asian-American identity and mental health awareness.
The Astonishing Color of After was recognized by TIME as one of "The 100 Best YA Books of All Time."
Plot summary
Leigh is convinced that after her mother Dory’s suicide, she became a red bird. Dory left behind a note that had the phrase “I want you to remember” crossed out. Shaken by this event, Leigh distances herself from her close friend Axel after sharing a kiss with him on the day her mother died. As an artist who typically avoids using color in her creations, Leigh’s father Brian is skeptical about the existence of the bird but arranges for Leigh to visit her Taiwanese grandparents, Waipo and Waigong. Leigh encounters language difficulties since Dory never taught her Mandarin due to their estranged relationship. During the visit, Leigh learns that her grandparents destroyed a box linked to the red bird; this leads to a confrontation between Brian and Waipo, after which Brian departs for Hong Kong.
Leigh connects with Feng, a family acquaintance fluent in English. She uses incense burning as a ritual to access memories tied to personal objects like photographs and letters, uncovering past experiences involving her parents, grandparents, and herself. These reflections include Axel’s interest in their classmate Leanne and insights into her mother’s depression alongside familial tensions.
In pursuit of the red bird’s significance, Leigh explores places favored by Dory alongside Feng and Waipo. After an emotionally charged incident where she pushes Feng away, she offers an apology. Memories emerge concerning Leigh’s deceased aunt Jingling, whose passing contributed to Dory’s decision to leave Taiwan. Leigh also revisits complicated interactions with Axel amid his relationship with Leanne.
As sleeplessness and hallucinations grow stronger, Leigh perceives fractures in the dreamscape she inhabits. She contacts her father to share these recollections; upon waking, the dream cracks disappear and they experience renewed closeness. It is revealed that Feng is actually Jingling’s spirit who eventually moves on. The family unites to scatter the ashes of Jingling and Dory together.
Returning to the United States, Leigh discovers she will have an art exhibition in Germany; her father pledges to accompany her. For the first time, she integrates color into her artwork inspired by the memories uncovered during her journey.
Background
Emily X.R. Pan grew up in Illinois within a family of Taiwanese and Chinese American heritage and engaged with relatives in Taiwan throughout the research and writing process of this novel. Although not directly autobiographical, Pan weaves aspects of her own life into the narrative—such as Leigh being raised by a professor and piano teacher—and drew upon stories from her grandmother for the character of Leigh’s mother. In interviews, Pan has shared that she has experienced losing a family member to suicide herself and possesses personal insight into depression’s effects. In the book’s "Author’s Note," Pan clarifies that Leigh’s mother’s depression is portrayed not as a consequence of isolated incidents but as an enduring condition throughout her life.
Mental health, suicide, and grief
The Booklist commended Pan for her compassionate depiction of mental illness, illustrating Leigh’s discovery of her mother’s history without simplifying it as a cause for suicide; instead, it reveals a lifelong battle with intense depression. The blog The Quiet Pond emphasized Pan’s use of mystical symbolism to mirror Leigh’s mourning journey and her pursuit of the red bird. The Harvard Crimson praised the nuanced portrayal of depression’s irreversible impact on Dory, framing it as an unyielding condition rather than merely a consequence of life events. This perspective is echoed in Leigh’s reflection: “Long before I lost my mother…She was already hurting”.
Family relationships
According to The Quiet Pond, Leigh’s surreal visions expose concealed familial wounds, shedding light on her mother’s decision not to return to Taiwan and the tensions between her parents’ families. The blog Rich in Color points out that Leigh’s bonds with her grandparents and her quest to understand her mother assist her in processing grief and comprehending love, despite feeling adrift following her mother’s passing and experiencing strained dynamics with her father and Axel.
Asian-American identity and belonging
Freelance writer Lydia Tewkesbury notes that Leigh’s biracial identity results in a double sense of alienation: she is perceived as “exotic” by white peers in the United States and similarly exoticized in Taiwan, where she encounters the term hunxie describing mixed-race individuals. Language differences between Leigh’s English-speaking self and her Mandarin-speaking grandparents intensify her sense of isolation. The Quiet Pond further observes that the novel’s Taiwanese setting highlights the intricate emotional layers tied to Leigh’s Asian-American identity and search for belonging.
Critical pedagogical value
Educational researchers Laurie Sharp and Robin Johnson advocate for including The Astonishing Color of After in children’s literature collections to enhance cultural relevance in teaching, which aims to empower learners to critically analyze societal issues and encourage social transformation. They stress that such works illuminate underrepresented cultural narratives, aiding students in overcoming cultural disparities through exposure to diverse stories.
Educators Boyd and colleagues underline the necessity of integrating culturally varied literature like this novel into educational settings to challenge Eurocentric perspectives and authentically represent diverse communities, lifestyles, beliefs, and traditions.
Scholar Michelle Falkoff explores both the potential risks and advantages of assigning novels addressing suicide, including The Astonishing Color of After. She cautions that ambiguous depictions without proper facilitation might provoke unhealthy fixations but acknowledges their capacity to cultivate empathy and awareness. Falkoff highlights the essential role educators play in steering conversations around these delicate themes.
Reception
The Astonishing Color of After achieved status as a New York Times and IndieBound bestseller.
It garnered starred reviews from both Booklist and Publishers Weekly, alongside favorable critiques from The New York Times Book Review, Bustle, and Kirkus.
Meg Medina, writing for The New York Times Book Review, described the novel as "lyrical and suspenseful."
Publishers Weekly highlighted the subtle incorporation of supernatural elements situating the story within magical realism, effectively conveying a powerful theme of hope and inner resilience.
Kirkus lauded it as "[a]n evocative novel capturing the uncertain feeling of existing between worlds—culturally, linguistically, ethnically, romantically, and existentially—while seeking hope and beauty even in dark times."
Included among "The 100 Best YA Books of All Time" by TIME, the novel was also recognized by both Bustle and Paste as one of 2018's top young adult titles.
The Horn Book Magazine emphasized Pan’s vivid depiction of Leigh as a visual artist who uses precise color shades to express emotion. The integration of Taiwanese mysticism, including spirits (gui), enhances the book's “hypnotic” storytelling quality.
Awards and honors
In 2018, The Astonishing Color of After was selected as a Booklist Editors' Choice for Youth. The subsequent year, it was featured on the American Library Association's list of "Outstanding Books for the College Bound: Arts & Humanities."
| Year | Award/Honor | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| 2019 | Asian/Pacific American Award for Literature | Honor book |
| Walter Dean Myers Award | Honor | |
| YALSA Amazing Audiobooks for Young Adults | Selection |
2018 ALA controversy
In January 2019, the American Library Association (ALA) revealed the recipients of the 2018 Youth Media Awards but excluded honor books such as Pan’s The Astonishing Color of After from the live broadcast.
Pan publicly criticized the ALA via Twitter, calling attention to what she described as superficial support for diverse authors: “ALA announced they would highlight APALA, AJL, and AILA’s selections to emphasize diverse books,” yet these awards were cut short during the ceremony. She questioned whether this was merely symbolic, underscoring the frustration felt by committees dedicated to advocating for marginalized voices.
The ALA explained that scheduling constraints led to some novels not being acknowledged during the event and denied any intention to slight those authors who were omitted. Analysts from The Horn Book inc. stressed the importance of expanding conversations about equity and inclusion within children’s literature to enhance both academic study and readership experiences.