You Have to Stop This
| Industry | Publishing |
|---|---|
| Founder | Pseudonymous Bosch |
| Products | Novels |
You Have To Stop This represents the fifth installment in The Secret Series authored by Pseudonymous Bosch, succeeding titles like This Isn't What It Looks Like. This particular novel explores the theme of touch.
Plot
The narrative begins with a depiction of The Oath of Terces alongside an ibis crossing the Nile River, then transitions to a scene where a man is executed after inscribing a cryptic message in hieroglyphics. Subsequently, Cass and Max-Ernest retrieve the Jester’s trunk hidden behind a firehouse and discover inside a blue ring adorned with an ibis symbol and a linen fragment inscribed with hieroglyphs translating roughly to "because what Ibis" or "because what Thoth."
While traveling on a bus headed for an Egyptian museum exhibit, they encounter their classmates Glob and Danielle, along with Danielle’s father, Albert 3D. At the museum, they examine an impressive mummy thought to be that of a physician who was executed for uncovering The Secret. Cass notices that the blue ring corresponds to an imprint on the mummy’s finger but inadvertently breaks off the finger during a confrontation with Principal Johnson. As a consequence, Albert 3D assigns them the task of sorting museum pottery shards. Later, when the mummy disappears, Albert warns their parents to cooperate if the children are involved in hiding it.
In parallel, Ms. Mauvais discusses Amber’s severe acne and promises assistance. During a TERCES Society meeting, Luciano reveals that Lord Pharaoh desires Cass’s ring and the mummy’s missing finger. The trio attempts to retrieve the finger from the museum but finds it replaced by a monocle. They then conceal themselves inside a crate which is shipped to Las Vegas.
Upon arriving in Las Vegas, they discover The Invisible Pharaoh performing as a magician. Cass uses gold coins from the Jester’s trunk to purchase tickets. After enjoying some local attractions, Cass notices hieroglyphics meaning "running water" at a nail salon. At the theater, Cass is deceived into relinquishing her ring onstage. Meanwhile, Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji find time-travel chocolate and a golden cape in The Pharaoh’s dressing room, realizing he invisibly transported the mummy out. They expose him during his performance, feed him the chocolate, and send him to another time period.
Cass places the ring back on the mummy’s finger, bringing him back to life. She interprets the hieroglyphic question: "Why did the ibis cross the river?" The mummy responds: "TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE," revealing The Secret as a joke that overwhelms Cass.
After she collapses, Max-Ernest entertains the audience while escaping alongside Terces Society members disguised as priests of Amun. Returning home as heroes, their relationships deepen—Albert 3D bonds with Cass’s mother; even Principal Johnson expresses support.
Pietro explains that "The Other Side" holds the true secret before vanishing. At graduation, Max-Ernest delivers a heartfelt speech; meanwhile, Cass and Yo-Yoji share a tentative romantic moment.
The story concludes with Amber quietly leaving with Ms. Mauvais in pursuit of a sun that never sets.
The epilogue reveals Mr. Bosch as Max-Ernest but leaves other characters’ destinies uncertain, emphasizing that The Secret leads to further mysteries and warning readers not to reveal endings.
Characters
- Cassandra – A resourceful survivalist always equipped with supplies and an active member of the secretive Terces Society. She pursues knowledge of a secret known only to an ancient pharaoh and his adviser Dr. Amun.
- Max Ernest – Cassandra’s closest companion and fellow Terces member. Intelligent and witty yet occasionally insecure and socially awkward, he plays an essential role in their adventures.
- Yo Yoji – A Japanese ally who supports Cass and Max-Ernest through his guitar talents and mission assistance; notable for his bright neon sneakers.
- Daniel-Not-Danielle – A friend who frequently corrects others on his name pronunciation.
- Glob – A blog-writing friend who aids their efforts.
- Owen – An important Terces Society operative skilled in disguises who often assists Cass and Max-Ernest.
- Pietro Bergamo – Leader of the Terces Society dedicated to thwarting the Midnight Sun’s schemes; also a magician and twin brother to Luciano Bergamo.
- Mrs. Johnson – The school principal responsible for overseeing Cass and Max-Ernest.
- Albert 3-D (Dr. Ndefdo) – Nigerian archaeology expert involved with Melanie, Cass’s adoptive mother; father of Daniel-Not-Danielle.
- Luciano Bergamo – Head of the alchemist group Midnight Sun seeking The Secret; Pietro’s twin brother who ultimately rejects their elixirs.
- Amber – Popular student working for the Midnight Sun fixated on the Skelton sisters.
- Lord Pharaoh – Founder of the Midnight Sun aiming to discover The Secret for eternal life.
- Pseudonymous Bosch – Minor character revealed as Max-Ernest; known for his fondness for chocolate and hidden identity clues.
- Ms. Mauvais – Member of Midnight Sun concealing her age with white gloves; mastermind behind schemes seeking immortality.
- Grandpas Larry and Wayne – Cass’s adoptive grandfathers residing in their fire station home filled with antiques; Larry was once Melanie’s teacher.
- Romi and Montana Skelton – Twin sisters running their own teen production company affiliated with Midnight Sun.
- Lily – Ms. Mauvais’s adversary captured by Midnight Sun due to her synesthesia.
- Dr. Amun – Ancient Egyptian physician believed to have uncovered The Secret leading to his demise.
- Mr. Wallace – Archivist of Terces Society and its eldest living member.
- The Jester – Cass’s great-grandfather who forms part of her family heritage.
Reception
The novel received a review from Booklist.